When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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