ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
