If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
