i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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