I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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