he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
