She said her name was "party"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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