Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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