It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
