I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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