I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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