Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
