He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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