You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
