There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
