What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
