The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
