Is it normal to miss your booty call?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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