she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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