everyone is single if you try hard enough
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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