Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
