Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
