Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Success! We fucked roommates!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
