Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
