Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
