life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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