i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
