chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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