Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
