Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don't want my vagina anymore.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
