That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
