How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
