We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
