He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
