just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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