oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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