it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
