he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
