You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It was like giving head to a cactus.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
