I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
