I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
