If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
