Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
