its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
