You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
