I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
