How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
