I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
