Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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