there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
