Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
