You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
